Posts Tagged ‘Sarah Palin’


Bayh Says Bye, While Plumber Cracks McCain
Written by Bill Schmalfeldt
Monday, 15 February 2010 03:09

Bye-Bye Bayh!

Sen. Evan Bayh (D-Indiana) has decided he doesn’t like the politics game anymore, so he’s going home.

Sen. Evan Bayh, D-Indiana, announced Monday afternoon that he will not seek a third term in the Senate – a major blow to Democrats worried about losses in the looming midterm elections.

“Congress is not operating as it should,” Bayh said at a news conference in Indianapolis. There is too much partisanship and “the people’s business is not getting done.”

Bayh said he loves public service, but does “not love Congress” and is “not motivated by strident partisanship or ideology.”

A couple comments, if I may.

A.  Don’t let the Capitol door smack yer ass on the way out!

B.  Anyone ELSE notice the CNN pro-conservative bias in the lede?  I highlighted it for you, just in case.  Who SAYS this is a “major blow?”  The one thing Bayh did right was choose his time.  Now, Republicans in the Hoosier State won’t be able to vote in the Democratic Primary to choose some chump the GOP can roll over.  Instead, the Indiana Democratic Party will choose the candidate.  Let’s hope they choose well.  At least, better than John McCain did when he chose a running mate and an iconic “everyman” to trot around the country.

Plumber’s Crack Flushes McCain

What do you do to thank the man who GAVE you that 15 minutes of fame that you tried, with humorous results, to turn into an actual political career?

You throw him under the Tea Bagger Bus.

“John McCain is no public servant,” (Joe the Plumber) Wurzelbacher said at a campaign rally Saturday in Pennsylvania for long shot gubernatorial candidate Sam Rohrer. Later, in an interview with Pennsylvania Public Radio, he dismissed the suggestion that he owes his fame to McCain.

“I don’t owe him s-,” Wurzelbacher said. “He really screwed my life up, is how I look at it.”

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!

So, apparently McCain isn’t batshit crazy ENOUGH for The Plumber. And neither is Sarah Palin.

Wurzelbacher said he’s also done with Sarah Palin because she is backing McCain’s re-election bid in Arizona.

So now, Joe is free to teabag his miniscule brain out as he and his compatriots search for the Perfect American Candidate for President!

You know…

The one who isn’t “one of those people” and was “born here” and isn’t a “commie fascist marxist socialist nazi” who wants to kill grandma. Someone who won’t tax nobody for nuthin’ but will increase spending on the military so we can bomb the bejeesus out of anyone who looks at us funny and them Mexicans, too! Someone who will keep gubbermint OUT of health care but won’t TOUCH Medicare or Social Security.

THAT kind of batshit crazy!

TAKE THE POLL!  DO IT!  DO  IT NOW!!!

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 2 March 2010 10:51
Sometimes the Jokes Write Themselves!
Written by Bill Schmalfeldt
Wednesday, 10 February 2010 09:00

This photograph was taken at a Sarah Palin rally as she stumps for Texas Governor (and fellow attractive dumbass) Rick Perry.

(And if I have to tell you what’s wrong with this sign, chances are YOU were “homescholed” TOO!)

And yet, the pundits say we should be cautious as we point to the intellectual deficit inherent in Caribou Barbie and those who support her.  Part of her appeal is, frankly, that she appeals to idiots.  She appeals to the dumbasses whose whole worldview ends at their own city or county limits.  The so-called “Real Americans.”  She went to five different colleges, and people APPLAUD when she mocks the “Harvard-educated” and “intellectuals”.  She appeals to the guy who goes to work five days a week, has a wife who stays home (cuz no wife-a MINE is gonna git a job!), has five or six kids around the house (cuz God says birth control is ABORTION), who doesn’t really care for people who are darker than the subtle hue of red on the back of his neck, who thinks President Obama is “uppity” and “ain’t really no citizen anyway” and besides, “ACORN STOLE the election.”

The pundits caution that mocking these people, calling them the anti-intellectual, anti-intelligence, anti-curious, anti-everything-what-ain’t-white-AMERICA, will cause them to RISE UP and COALESCE around Caribou Barbie or any number of the OTHER teabag sucking right wing politicians who are only too happy to pretend that THEY are stupid TOO, and it’s the SMART people, the BRAINIACS, the KNOW-IT-ALLS who think they’re BETTER than “we” are who are the CAUSE of all these problems.

The pundits fear that there are enough of these developmentally-disabled Americans to make Sarah Palin a force in American politics instead of just the carnival show that she is.

I hope the pundits are wrong.  GOD, how I hope they’re wrong!

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 10 February 2010 09:00
Did Sarah Palin Use “Cheat Notes”?
Written by Bill Schmalfeldt
Sunday, 7 February 2010 08:31

Sometimes a girl needs a little help remembrin’ stuff.  And when you’re flush from a full day of mocking President Obama for, among other things, using a teleprompter when giving speeches, sometimes when you’re being asked pre-approved questions at a scripted Q-n-A, you gotta just go back to the old fashioned way of cheating and look at the crib notes you’ve scribbled onto your hand.

Nah, she didn’t!!!  Really?  Sarah Palin needed to look at CRIB NOTES written on the palm of her HAND like a sophomore during a CIVICS TEST???

Hmmmm…. turns out AP took a photo of her during the speech.

There’s certainly SOMETHING written on the palm of that left hand.  Is it a grocery list?  A list of ways to refer to Obama’s race without blatantly using the “N” word?

Nothing quite that blatant, it would seem.

Caribou Barbie just needed to remind herself that she wanted to talk about…

“ENERGY”

“BUDGET TAX CUTS”

“LIFT AMERICA’S SPIRITS”

As a columnist on the Huffington Post comments, this tells us one of two things.

This would mean:

A) That she knew the questions beforehand and the whole thing was a farce. (Likely.)

and

B) That she still couldn’t answer the previously agreed-upon questions without a little extra help.

If true, this is supremely rich coming immediately after a speech in which Palin took a shot at President Obama for using a teleprompter to read his prepared speeches.

You can bet that the President wasn’t reading scribbles off his extremities while he sparred with Republicans and Democrats in an unscripted format in his recent Q&As.

Palin, on the other hand, seems to need a cheat-sheet just to get through a contrived lovefest with a smitten interviewer and an adoring audience.

I’m no fan of the Tea Party movement – if it can be called such – but if this is their leader I actually sympathize with them.

And if you listen to the answer she gives, even WITH the cheat notes, it’s babbling and incoherent!!!

THIS is the idiot that wingnuts want to be the face of their party?  THIS is the blithering moron that most Republicans think is MORE QUALIFIED than Obama to be president?  THIS is the simpering hypocrite that old, white, disaffected Americans who want to take America back from “Those People” in the White House are considering as their CHAMPION?

Okee doke!

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Last Updated on Friday, 26 February 2010 02:19
What About Sarah’s Selective Indignation?
Written by Bill Schmalfeldt
Thursday, 4 February 2010 08:35

Sarah Palin had every right to be upset with Rahm Emanuel.  As mother to a baby with Down Syndrome, she was naturally upset when word reached her that the President’s chief of staff had uttered the words “f–king retards” to refer to left wing bloggers who wanted Obama to fight harder for passage of his health care plan.

She was so upset with Rahm, she demanded he be fired on the spot!

The comment, which was made in August, was first reported last week in the Wall Street Journal.  Sarah Palin, the GOP’s superstar, seized on the comment and urged that Emanuel be fired for insensitivity. Palin, a former Alaska governor and now a Fox News Channel analyst, has a son with Down syndrome.

Now, we hear from Texas, where during a particularly brutal primary campaign for the GOP Gubernatorial Nomination, Kay Bailey Hutchison accuses a Rick Perry supporter of using the “R” word.

Sarah was upset of course… but she didn’t call for him to be fired.

Palin spokesman Meg Stapleton condemned the language as “disrespectful,” but did not say that Carney should lose his job.  “While it seems few can comment on the veracity of the conversation, Gov. Palin believes crude and demeaning name calling at the expense of others is disrespectful,” Stapleton told CNN in an e-mail.  Palin, whose youngest son Trig has Down Syndrome, wrote on her Facebook page Monday that the word “retarded” is “a slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities.”  She said Emanuel’s use of the term, first reported in a Wall Street Journal article last week, was “heartbreaking” and merited his dismissal from the president’s inner circle.”

So… she wanted Rahm fired for saying the “R” word once, she SCOLDED a Perry aide for saying the word TWICE!  Imagine how PISSED she would be if some national radio commentator said it FOUR times!

LIMBAUGH: Our political correct society is acting like some giant insult’s taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards. I mean these people, these liberal activists are kooks. They are looney tunes. And I’m not going to apologize for it, I’m just quoting Emanuel. It’s in the news. I think their big news is he’s out there calling Obama’s number one supporters f’ing retards. So now there’s going to be a meeting. There’s going to be a retard summit at the White House. Much like the beer summit between Obama and Gates and that cop in Cambridge.

So, Sarah?  We’re waiting for your outrage.  Are you going to call for Rush to be fired for using the word?  Are you going to call what he said disrespectful?  I mean, MILLIONS of people heard what HE said, where Rahm and the Perry aide said what they said behind closed doors.

Now’s the time to show America that you are NOT living in terror that Limbaugh might say something mean about you, Sarah!  Now is the time to show that your indignation over the besmirching of your son, your precious child, and prove it’s offensive — offensive even when the titular head of your party does it!  Other Republicans have found it necessary to crawl on their bellies to the altar of Limbaugh, Sarah.  DISTINGUISH yourself from them.  Show some GUTS!  CALL OUT Limbaugh for MAKING FUN of YOUR BABY!!!

You ARE going to call for Limbaugh’s scalp, right Sarah?  Because to do otherwise would show your selective indignation — which is another way to describe “hypocrisy.”

Maybe you didn’t hear him say it, Sarah.

Here. Consider it a public service.

Now, get ANGRY, Sarah! Get VERY angry!

(On a side note:  Anyone ELSE think it’s odd that neither CNN or Faux News even MENTIONS that Limbaugh used the word four times?  Not a WORD?  Odd, that…)

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 10 February 2010 07:48
How Does One ‘Negotiate’ with People Who Think You’re EVIL?
Written by Bill Schmalfeldt
Tuesday, 2 February 2010 01:06

Lotsa talk lately about President Obama’s trip to the GOP House Retreat in Baltimore.  Best description I read: “Daniel entered the lion’s den and came out with a brand new lionskin jacket.”

I’m sure there’s nothing President Obama would like MORE than to get some GOP support for some of his initiatives.  But the trick is, how do you “negotiate” with people who think you are Satan on Earth?

A new Research 2000 poll, released this afternoon, shows these startling results.  Keep in mind, these questions were asked of people who are “self-identified Republicans.”

Should Barack Obama be impeached, or not?
Yes 39
No 32
Not Sure 29

What “high crime or misdemeanor” do they want to IMPEACH him for?  Consider this!  68 percent of the Republicans in this poll either think Obama SHOULD be impeached, or they’re not sure!  Is it for the crime of being “a Democrat”?

Maybe here’s why.

Do you think Barack Obama is a socialist?
Yes 63
No 21
Not Sure 16

So, 79 percent of Republicans think Obama is a socialist, or they’re not sure if he is or isn’t.  How is Obama supposed to reach out to the GOP side of the aisle when the GOP lawmakers who are being asked to DEAL with this Socialist who Should Be Impeached will have to ANSWER to the people who BELIEVE this crap?

Not to mention the birthers!

Do you believe Barack Obama was born in the United States, or not?
Yes 42
No 36
Not Sure 22

Well, at least here we have a plurality of folks who have taken the sane position that being shown a copy of Obama’s birth certificate, the birth announcements in the Honolulu newspapers from 1961, and the word of the Governor of Hawaii and their Secretary of State is sufficient proof.  But that STILL leaves 58 percent of self-identified Republicans who either swear that the birth certificate was false, that Obama somehow went back into time to alter the 1961 newspapers, and the state officials in Hawaii are liars — of they’re not sure!  Negotiate with THAT, whydoncha?

Be that as it may, you would expect that a majority of self-identified Republicans believe Obama wants to protect his country from terrorists, right?

Do you believe Barack Obama wants the terrorists to win?
Yes 24
No 43
Not Sure 33

Egad!  57 percent of self-identified Republicans either think Obama wants to turn over the White House to Osama bin Laden, or they’re just not sure!  And President Obama is supposed to negotiate with these idiots?

I’ll give the GOP lawmakers the benefit of some doubt.  I don’t think THEY are a bunch of backwards thinking, Obama-hating, racist birthers who want Obama impeached.  You’ve gotta have SOMETHING on the ball, mentally, to get elected to Congress… with a few notable exceptions.  But these lawmakers CAN’T work with Obama, because the people who SELECT Republican candidates in the PRIMARIES are the ones who will PUNISH them if they DO reach across the aisle to work with this Socialist Nazi Foreigner!

Besides, he never should have been elected in the first place, the poll says.

Do you believe ACORN stole the 2008 election?
Yes 21
No 24
Not Sure 55

That’s right!  76 percent of self-identified Republicans either BELIEVE that ACORN somehow stuffed the ballot boxes, or they’re not sure they didn’t.

Do you believe Barack Obama is a racist who hates White people?
Yes 31
No 36
Not Sure 33

So, 69 percent of these self-identified Republicans say he IS a racist, or they’re not sure.  Surely we can find someone more qualified to be president, right?

Do you believe Sarah Palin is more qualified to be President than Barack Obama?
Yes 53
No 14
Not Sure 33

Holey Moley! 86 percent of self-identified Republicans think this flaky, moronic quitter has more qualifications than Obama!  Obama is supposed to negotiate with THEM?

Well, what choice does he have?

Do you believe your state should secede from the United States?
Yes 23
No 58
Not Sure 19

Damn.  Only 42 percent of self-identified Republicans want to form their own country — which I would suggest they call “Buttheadistan”.

And it goes on…

73 percent are against openly gay teachers teaching in public schools.  “The Gay” might rub off on the kids.

31 percent think contraceptive use should be outlawed, 34 percent believe that birth control pills are abortion, and 76 percent equate abortion to murder.  And 67 percent believe that if you don’t believe in Jesus, you’re going to hell.  That means every Muslim, every Buddhist, every Jew, every Shintoist, anyone who is not a Jerry Falwell Christian.

THESE are the people that the Main Stream Conservative Media thinks Obama needs to reach out to — or, at least, to the lawmakers who must go back and FACE these people at election time.  People who will PUNISH lawmakers who work with this Marxist Commie Socialist from Kenya who wants Osama to WIN!

How do you ask GOP lawmakers to work with you when the people who ELECT them have CLEARLY taken leave of their senses?

Instead, the GOP finds itself being dictated to by people who have decided to embrace lie after lie after racist, Faux News/Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh/Sean Hannity/Bill O’Reilly-sponsored LIE even though the TRUTH is so easily available to anyone who wants it.

How do you get “bipartisan” with a party where the base thinks you are everything evil in the world — a base that is convinced you are some sort of “Manchurian Candidate” bent on “Destroying America”?

How do you “negotiate” with THAT?

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Last Updated on Thursday, 4 February 2010 06:18
Coming Up on Fox News — THE CARIBOU BARBIE SHOW!!!
Written by Bill Schmalfeldt
Monday, 11 January 2010 02:15

That’s right, all you slobbering older white males who don’t care what her politics are, you just like the way she looks!  All you rock-ribbed conservatives who wouldn’t know a death panel from a door handle if she didn’t tell you.  All you young, conservative teenagers who dream of cougars like her, standing over you with a whip and a makeshift Nazi uniform.  All you drooling idiots who hang on her every word, her every “tweet”, her ever Facebook belch.  All you empty-headed boobs who need to have your talking points spoon fed to you by pretty girls and handsome guys…

IT’S THE CARIBOU BARBIE SHOW!

Starrrrrring….

SARAH PALIN!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!

She won’t get her OWN show… not just yet, anyway.  She just doesn’t have the — what’s that phrase?  “Mental acumen?”  Yeah, that’s the one… she doesn’t have the “mental acumen” to hold it all together for a half-hour or hour or 90 minutes at a time.  And gosh darn it, someone might ask her a tough question about foreign policy or state capitals or magazines and newspapers she’s read.

No, she will be a “frequent contributor” on a WHOLE LINEUP of Faux News programming so she can HANDLE the softball questions and FURTHER push the propaganda that IS Faux News!

Fair and Balanced?  You BETCHA!  Maybe they could put her on a panel with Karl Rove and they can talk about all the SUCCESSES of the Bush administration.

So, Faithful Fauxed-up Viewer!  Keep your eye peeled for CARIBOU BARBIE!  It’s the MAVERICKY thing to do!

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 13 January 2010 06:01
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