I haven’t done one of these videos for awhile, but I do believe you will get a good idea of the kind of vocal problems I’m having. I’m more hoarse than I’ve been in recent videos (which you can see for yourself by clicking the “video” category above), and I’m slurring and stuttering. At least I’m still able to catch myself before drooling on my shirt.
So, there’s much to be thankful for! 
No CommentsMy speech problems continue for another day. Last night as Gail left the bedroom to use the facilities, I meant to ask her if she wanted me to turn on the bedside lamp. What I said was…
“Would you like me to turn the… the… the… the…”
I pointed at the lamp and Gail said, “No.” Thank goodness, or else I’d probably STILL be saying the word “the.”
1. When I talk casually, I’ll start to say a word — but begin it with the wrong syllable. For instance, instead of saying, “It’s getting dark outside…” I’ll say, “It’s getting nark….” and then I freeze up, close my eyes, concentrate on what I want to say… and then say it.
2. Also when speaking casually, I’ll run words together until it’s all garbled. I sound like Popeye. When this happens, I have to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and say the words I want to say with definite breaks between each word.
3. When under pressure to say something, I tend to just freeze up. It would be FINE if I just stayed silent, but I start making babbling noises with the “aaaaah” and the “errrrrrr” and the “uuuuhhhhh” and I sound like a moron. When this happens now, I force myself to shut up, then say “I’m trying to think of the right word.”
So, what to do? Well, other than being breathy and hoarse, I’m not really having trouble with volume (hypophonia). It just seems like I’ve picked up a stutter (neurogenic stutter) in my old age.
Gail says we can make a little extra money by taking me on tour to do Popeye impressions. She LOVES me!
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Had another of those little uncomfortable moments today, much like one I had when I was at the store recently with Gail and I froze up — mentally and physically.
I had just downloaded a series of sound files from a colleague of mine and wanted to go from my work server to my home server to piece them into a single podcast.
Suddenly, I had no idea what I was doing. I knew who I was, I knew where I was, I knew what my computer was, but the icons on the desktop suddenly made no sense to me. I couldn’t even look at them without feeling frustrated. It was like, I knew what I wanted to do, but it was just on the other side of a thin sheet of drywall and if I could just break through that wall, I could get the info I was looking for.
I expressed my frustration to Gail as verbally as I could, then forced myself to look at the desktop on my computer again. After a few seconds, the icons made sense again, I realized which folder I needed and remembered just what it was I wanted to do.
I’m used to my body screwing up. I am NOT used to my mind doing this to me.
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